today lets talk about hearts. weee~ well, since no one will be reading this so I'll just post something that is really hard for me to post. uh, I don't care. recently I had my heart broken. why? I found out that i have fall really deep in love with someone and what I meant by fall really deep i mean fall really deep. this is the first time i experience something like this. seriously first time. well, usually for the Malay word "sayang" are too general, but "cinta" is not general at all. to say the word "cinta" is so hard. and for the first time in my life, someone said that to me. shocking? yes. but,it doesn't turn out the way I want to it be. when he said that he love me, I jump on my bed so high. don't ask me why. You get the answer. yes, i love him too. really do love him. how do I love him? easy, when someone ask me what type of husband would you prefer? straight forwardly i said his name. what kind of boyfriend do you dream of? yes, its him. I can never think of someone else in my future besides him. I accept everything about him.the good, the bad,EVERYTHING. its like he is everything to me. he is what i dream of. i love every inch of him. and i thought that nothing can go wrong. as the Malays says, "langit tak selalu cerah". he told me that his heart was changing. he doesn't love me anymore. yes, he doesn't love me anymore. did I cried? yes, with all my heart.I can't sleep that night. I cried so hard. my heart was like exploding or something. it was so wrong. I can't eat for a week or something. I've become so thin until my friend start to argue what had happened to me. I couldn't say anything. I can't. if I say a word about what had happened I'll cry. so in the end i decided to tell my brother. he listened and he help me until I am now. I LOVE YOU ABANG. my bro told me that it wasn't worth it to cry over something like that. "Itu hati awak, diri awak. die okey je. lelaki ni lain. tak kan awak sorang je nak nanges? die biase je, esok luse awek lain pulak. awak kene kuat lah. cube, cube untuk kuat. memang susah. susah sangat. tapi cube. ingat cakap abang ni" and now, I am strong. it is true. I am strong now, cause I can wrote this without even crying. :) thanks abang.
