letting go

should I begin my writing with greetings? I don't think so. hmm, lately, no.. now. yes now. I feel like 'why am I here?' everything seems not likely to be.. I don't think that I belong in this community. isolated? yes. yes that 's what i feel now. why? I don't know why. I thought that I'm strong enough. but I guess I'm very fragile. very very fragile. some say, in process of letting go, we must change. I am changing. I've change! maybe... maybe not. I don't know. maybe I'm just trying to be someone that I'm not. maybe I'm being pathetic. getting all excited by myself and keep saying that I've change. but I'm not. what should I do? what must I do? giving a fake smiles is hopeless. it's cracking me up.